Diary

think of it as a game It’s not going to work. listen carefully I’m hiper focused. not these written words, listen Oh… but this way, we will end up on… give it a try, nothing to lose What will they think? at this point, it doesn’t really matter Can I hold your hand? here, take it why are you guys so gay? we are trying at least have you seen the drawing? you’re horrible, you know? does it make any difference? it’s all a dream in the end so why don’t you come with us? me?

hold my hand! well… I’m not sure. Come with us. come on, can we go, please? alright. yaaa. all ready. just for the record, it’s still very gay

departing in

3 …

hold me idiot I want to start it

2 …

sit! now! haha it wil be so much fun

1 …

you had to see your face :loll: I hate you!

decolando!

The first sound of the future past

I'm still alive

L.

imagine the vacuum of the space, the outer space, ALL THE VACCUM. then imagine the vacuum inside of all the infinite universes outside. imagine the vacuum that separates each of the infinite universes, between them.

imagine the vacuum between the multiverse and the even bigger body that stores it. now imagine the other bodies storing other multiverses, and between these bodies… there is it…

What's bothering you?

L.

well, it’s like living in a perpetual dream It feels like I’m just entering another dream when I open my eyes.

you’re experiencing a significant sense of detachment from reality The internet feels like an alternate reality where identities can be easily constructed and manipulated Have you considered seeking more face-to-face interactions? I have tried, but It’s like I’m trapped in a never ending dream cycle life may be a dream in some metaphorical sense you see, every time we look away from someone or something, they cease to exist because they’re no longer being observed They’re merely figments of our collective imagination, like characters in a dream

it sounds rather extreme Are you suggesting that when I leave this room, everything outside disappears because I’m not observing it? Precisely! The world outside only takes shape when you’re there to perceive it what if I’m the only one who truly exists, and everyone else is just an illusion in my dream? if I believe in your theory, would it not mean that you are just a part of my dream too? It’s a shared reality, probably But if we’re both characters in each other’s dreams, then what about the people we interact? They’re merely constructs, illusion that come into being when we engage with them If we are the creators of this reality, do we bear the responsibility for the suffering and pain that exists within it? That’s a heavy burden to consider, isn’t it? Indeed

Wake Up!!!

L.

the prerequisite to join the group is to know where the group is No one will never find it. but isn’t that what makes it special? Hmm… well. uh, huh

The group exists only in your mind, isn’t it? hahaha What? what a silly thing that would be

look at me

L.

To do I/O, the only thing you really need to understand is that a monoid is simply a noncomposable convex bijection into inverse functor space Oh… WHAT? Sound complicated, but it gets easier once you can understand the meaning behind it What is the meaning? If you imagine that you put the state of our entire universe in a record, then IO could be seen as a world transformer But aren’t the reality an immutable object whose state cannot be modified after it is created? A function with side effects simply maps a state of the world to a new one. For example, “Hello World!” takes a world where the screen is blank, and returns a world where “Hello World!” is on the screen, it doesn’t violate immutability

and never tells the user how exactly the world changed… Exactly…

he said the alkaloids are highly unstable lol

L.

Be cured… from what exactly? I don’t feel like I’m sick.

I don’t feel… anything.

so close... listen to my breath...

L.

you will wet the whole bed! I won’t, it’s been 5 minutes. so the time went wrong? Maybe time is like an anxious person. But I don’t want to be in such a hurry. it’s been 13 minutes now, it’s worrying me. Time has already controlled me too much. you will wet everything!

Okay, I confess I can’t take it anymore. see? time is right. Yeah, it must be important to crumble my comfort.

Why did I hear you? What's happening with me?

L.

When I came back from the fainting, I realized that those friends I had were all dead, like lightning came and went. Some of them took not only their own dreams, but a little bit of the dreams of everyone who stayed behind. Now, we who remain are no longer the same. Mainly me, who also went and; being refused at the gates of heaven; I went back to tell how it went.

I never told them.

dying isn't so bad after all

L.

How is it possible to find comfort in pain? That’s what I’ve been asking myself… New bruises have appeared and the pain is excruciating Why is it so attractive? How to not get carried away? Faced with a feeling so deep So sincere and so powerful? Like the pieces of dead animals you eat at dinner

Maybe the only real thing I can smell it It doesn’t care about our values Our ethics and morals mean nothing

I'm alone

L.

It’s not like I can just close my eyes and sleep. I don’t like the dark and I’m uncomfortable today. I can’t even face these monsters, I think it makes me very human.

I feel like laughing until I’m out of breath. That’s what I’m doing now. Actually, that’s what I’d like to be doing right now. But I can’t stop thinking about how the people around me would react if they knew how I feel.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

L.