In November 2023, I was dying due to an untreated infection. I had died three or more times in just one year, which was a record. It's always very confusing when that happens, but this time I thought I would never return to this dimension again. While Lucifer was trying to steal my eyes, I received an unexpected visit from Hope. She gave me a children's crossword puzzle book. I opened it to page six and, in the middle of the words, it was written:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.”

Why would someone write that in a crossword puzzle? Well, I wasn't seeing very well due to the infection I had, but I swear it was there. So I closed the book and read the cover, it said “Crossword Puzzles”, but right below, in small print, it said:

“do not lean on your own understanding.”

I started to think this book was broken.

But then it started again... How can I explain... it's very loud, you know? When they start screaming, there's not much you can do to escape. Lucifer had probably already found me, and I had no way to run, after all, I was trapped. That was when I heard someone singing from afar:

“If you gave up, God will not give up He is here to lift you up.”

But she sang in a way that made me feel comfortable. She continued:

“Sin cannot hide The mark of Jesus that exists in you. What you did or didn't do Didn't change the beginning...”

I remembered when I was a child and attended a church just so I could play the piano. Oh yes, I play the piano... I mean, I used to play. But that's not the story.

It happens that the next day when... well, I don't know his name... but when he arrived, with the Bible in his hands, I got curious, I wanted to listen. He said:

“Not that we loved God, but that he loved us.” – John 4:10

I understood, God never demanded my love, he loved me first, as I am. Then I remembered I had tried to take my own life so many times. Was I wrong? I felt anxious... then he said:

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

That was when Lucifer found me and swore to love me.

“I really need your eyes,” he said.

“But why?” I replied.

“Because you stole them from me,” he answered.

Whaat? That's a lie, I was born with these eyes. That was when God spoke to me DIRECTLY for the first time. He said:

” “

This made me understand that 3 is as important as 7 trumpets, because they are me, my echo, my shadow. In John 14:25-26 it is written:

“These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”

The Holy Words are much more complicated than I understood, it was necessary for Lucifer to take me to hell so that I could comprehend, during the way back, which took DECADES. But during the entire journey, he kept talking to me and guiding me:

” “

I cried because when God speaks, you know at that exact moment that it is an unrepeatable and so unique and personal moment, that even if you comprehend all the mysteries of the universe, it is not reproducible. But in Psalm 23:4 it is written:

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Those were difficult days. No, they were difficult months. And during those months, he never left me. When the nurses were pulling electronic parasites from my arteries with painful needles, I kept listening.

” “

I felt fear for the first time. Real fear. The kind that you would give everything for one minute of peace. This time it wasn't a natural death like the others, something was “off”. But in Isaiah 41:10 it is written:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

And suddenly everything was calm again. I could breathe. I looked for who was holding my hands but I couldn't find anyone. I wondered if I was in a different dimension. But he squeezed my fingers, and with that, I heard:

” “

And once again I questioned, but with all my sins, I can't do what you ask of me. as John 15:3:

“Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you.”

I doubted. The marks of my past are engraved all over my body, they won't disappear, they can't be cleaned. But he continued:

” “

Trying to understand is useless, the rationalization of ideas is always limited within our human concepts. In John 3:12 it is written:

“If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things?” – John 3:12

And I accepted that not only the small miracles are hard to see, I still haven't found ways to bring to this world the big miracles I saw, in a time where there is so much lack of faith and so much lack of love. And once again I heard:

” “

And knowing that there is no way to avoid it, I accepted again. I accepted three times. In Joshua 1:9 it is written:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

What exists before God?

Lainhatsuni